Lessons from my Son about God.

"Some things cannot be learned until it is time to lean them".

After an extended absence from church, I have learned a lot about my personal relationship with God. I have also learned a lot about religion. Most importantly is that these are different things.

But I have learned my biggest lesson from my 4 month old son just the other day. It was an amazing Aha moment that left me feeling like God was sitting next to us. There are many different ways to think about God, some see him as a Him, some as an Almighty Smiter, maybe as a Brother, as the Earth itself, or possibly even just an Ancient sense of Awe and Wonder. The most common way I've been taught about God is as a Father. So it's no wonder this lesson has been lost on me for the better part of 29 years. I've never had the opportunity to be a Father before!

Humans struggle to understand people of different political views, people on the other side of a battlefield, people of different socio-economic backgrounds and yet these are at least all still people!!  Somehow relating to and having empathy for our own species can be a very daunting task. So it is only fair to assume that trying to relate to a cosmic being that supposedly controls everything while somehow remaining distant enough to allow free will might be a daunting task!! (It's enough to make your head spin trying to relate to a friend like that!!)

As a Father though. As a Father figure, God becomes much more relatable. Mankind has had fathers for as long as Mankind has been walking around. Becoming a father is something that a good chunk of our species has had the opportunity to do throughout time. And yet, if I had not become one I think my favorite lesson I've ever learned from God would have been lost. The lesson of talking to your Father.

Back when I attended church regularly, and was even a member of a weekly bible study, prayer was something I learned about and yet it always eluded me. I even volunteered to teach a bible study class about prayer one time hoping to learn more about it. I can remember almost every word spoken that night because my focus was so razor sharp. I knew things. I did not understand things.

God says he wants us to pray, Jesus even taught his disciples a prayer to use Verbatim!! It couldn't have been easier. But why? It's so dumb. It's so stupid to pray for stuff. We already know God isn't going to deliver the lottery into my pocket, and most likely wont strengthen my frustratingly-weak ankles. He knows I spend too much money, and He knows I roll my ankles if I even look at a rock on the ground. So why would I pray about it. That's dumb. We even know that a lot of Christians believe if you ask to develop a new virtue, you will be given hard times on purpose!! So praying is dumb. Maybe.

Every day that I have to go to work, my son Logan and I get to have a few hours of guy time together while mommy is working. We go for a run, watch Star Wars, have giggle fits, or just hang out on the couch cuddling. Last week some of Logan's personality started to shine through as he sat on my lap babbling away while looking up at me. It was awesome. If you haven't met him, he has giant blue eyes and they captivate. I started talking back to him and it made him babble along all the stronger. As I started talking back more and more and picking up the pace I found myself laughing out loud at what I was saying to my cooing 4 month old. I was saying, "Son, what could you possibly have so much to say about? You have literally seen nothing in this world that I have not shown you. And yet here you are chatting my ear off happy as a clam. It doesn't matter my boy, I could sit here until the Earth stops spinning listening to you, your so freaking adorable."

Who turned the light on?

"I could sit here until the Earth stops spinning listening to you, your so freaking adorable"

-Allen Conner, Father of Logan Conner

"Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you"

-Jeremiah 29:12, God and Father of all Creation

Did I all of a sudden gain transcending understanding of the universe? Ummm, No. Did I gain a small amount of wisdom and understanding from this 5 minutes with my son? YES. Without Logan in my life, this lesson would never have occurred. I never learned it in a bible study. I never learned it on my knees while people waved smoke at me or dipped fingers in water and flicked it everywhere. I never learned it in a room full of people monotonously trying to be monotonous in sync with each other. Our God wants us to talk to Him as I want my son to talk with me.

No one could ever explain to me why a God who knows all, allows all, sees all, and created all would want us to tell him things in prayer. Only a child who knew not what he was doing, just babbling away for the sake of making noise could teach me this.

 I can't wait to see what else he will teach me about our God.